Replay
by Euregatto
Summary: "You only see things in black and white."


_I was bored when I wrote this. (shrugs) Review if you liked. I'm not sure what to think of it. Takes place shortly after Soifon dukes it out with her Zanpakuto in that filler._

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><p>The small, pathetic creature's even tinier chest rose up and down at a steady tempo, breaths coming slowly. A pair of calculated gray pools studied the limp form, pathetic on that pillow—too small to even occupy a bed, left to sleep on a pathetic table top.<p>

It was simply… _pathetic_.

This creature had only hours ago been taunting, tormenting, devious; zipping around with a murderous intent, gloating up until the final moment.

Still, Soifon felt a pang of guilt watching her Zanpakuto suffer like this. She had no doubt in her mind that the stinger could be reattached with ease, that it would heal like it had never been sliced off in the first place. Of all the Captains Soifon had the upper hand—skill wise, trained to fight in the worst of situations without a Zanpakuto. Suzumebachi hadn't taken that into consideration, which was her biggest mistake.

Lurking in the deepest shadows of Soifon's sub-conscious came Suzumebachi's rants, spat out like venom, hitting Soifon's nerves like alcohol on an open wound. Replaying—replaying—replaying—

_"All you see is black and white."_

Soifon wagged her head, glancing back up to see that Unohana had finally finished patching up the detached limb. Replay.

_"Do you even know what 'middle grounds' means?"_

Replay.

_"That woman is making you rot."_

Her lower eyelid twitched. Suzumebachi was always there—when Soifon first learned Shi Kai, when Yoruichi betrayed Soul Society, through the long—dark—lonely—torturing—_waking up screaming from those nightmares that plagued my dreams_—100 years in her quest to surpass her mentor, upon learning that dreadful Ban Kai, when being reunited with the one who caused the whole mess… Soifon was tired now. She didn't need anyone chastising her about her decisions to return to Yoruichi. _But still._

Replay.

_"What do you know about Yoruichi?"_

_"I know a lot."_

What a stupid question. Suzumebachi isn't that big of an idiot—she was always there, unable to doing anything as Soifon suffered. The day Yoruichi left Suzumebachi could feel Soifon's heart tear in two, split down the middle like a piece of paper. Soifon slowly sat up straight—_Oh, Suzumebachi… When was the last time you saw me smile? _Soifon hadn't realized even Suzumebachi was hurting, too.

Unohana turned to face Soifon, nodding, "She'll be better soon. I'll leave you two to talk in peace." She left silently, shutting the door behind her.

Suzumebachi was still laying down on her fluffy pillow, her stinger and shoulder bandaged together to let the final effects of the procedure fix the muscular structure. She rolled her head in Soifon's direction, eyes drooping from exhaustion. "S-Soifon?"

The Captain folded her hands beneath her chin, "What?" _Gentle, don't be too crude._

"I'm thirsty."

The silence lingered for a moment. "What do you want me to do about it?" _Gentle, don't be too crude!_

"Get me something."

"OK." _There we go. She's hurting too, you know_. Soifon stood and trekked over to the corner where the water dispenser was, filling up one of the smaller cups with a disgusting floral pattern printed around it. She returned to find Suzumebachi struggling to sit up without hurting her arm. "Don't push yourself. Here." She set the cup down and tapped the Zanpakuto's back, jolting her into an upright position. "Just ask for help."

"I'm your Zanpakuto," she dead-panned.

Replay.

_"I used to be your Zanpakuto."_

"When do _you_ ever ask for help?"

"Touché." Soifon dipped her head in submission and watched as Suzumebachi helped herself to the water. "There's something I need to ask you… and something I need to admit." At the former mention Suzumebachi merely gave a squeak of approval, but come the latter she almost choked. "Questions first. Did what you say about Yoruichi… did you mean it?"

"What, that she's going to make you rot?" Suzumebachi winced at the harshness underlining her own words, "That you only see things in black and white? Uh… yeah."

Soifon frowned, "Oh… so then I can tell you what's on my mind?" The Zanpakuto spirit didn't respond; only sipped at her water, attempting to lift the too heavy cup with one arm. "I just… I'm sorry." Suzumebachi paused, staring into the stilling surface of the liquid below her nose. "Yoruichi hurt me so terribly I could only think about getting revenge… for a hundred years. I never realized just how much you were hurting, too."

Suzumebachi snorted. "Oh, I'm not hurting—never was."

Soifon furrowed her brow in confusion. "I thought…?"

"Thought what?" The bee scoffed, "That whatever you felt I felt too? That's not how it works. After Yoruichi left you behind you stopped talking to me much. I was mad at her for breaking you like a twig, sure… but I kept my mouth shut. You had your resolves, and I understood that. What **hurt**, Soifon," Her words turned bitter, sour on her tongue, "was that you took her _back_ like nothing even happened!"

Suzumebachi stared up as the door slowly slid open. Soifon didn't even look up to see who it was, her back to the presence, "I only took her back because I _wanted_ to believe it had never happened! I _wanted_ to stop hurting! Do you think my nightmares stopped? No! Do you think my heart is patched up good as new? It will never be! I'm done **pretending**, Suzumebachi, but I can't stop because I don't want to loose her again!"

Replay.

_"Don't you know what 'middle grounds' means?"_

"You don't want to be hurt again," The presence's voice avowed.

Soifon flinched and whirled around. Yoruichi was leaning against the door frame, her arms folded against her chest. Clearing her throat, Soifon said meekly, "I didn't know it was you standing there…"

"Save me the guilt trip," Yoruichi hissed, "I already feel terrible enough as it is. Didn't we discuss this—put this behind us?"

Replay.

_"You only see things in black and white."_

"You say it like it's nothing more than a cold," Soifon seethed, fists balling up, "I love you dearly Yoruichi-sama, but I'm afraid… I'll never be OK. I'll never put it behind me. You had good intentions when you left—you didn't want me to get hurt, I know that now—but I will _never_ be able to forgive you. Give me three wishes and none of them will be for me to find the ability to forgive you. For me to even say 'it's alright'. I'm sorry, but that's how it is."

Sighing softly, Yoruichi muttered, "Soifon… I had no idea. I'm sor-"

"Don't," Soifon interjected, voice so cold it almost flash-froze the room, "Just leave. There's nothing more to talk about right now."

Yoruichi inclined her head, gaze locking with the floor. Soifon felt even guiltier then before. "OK. I just came to see how you two were doing… Good-bye, Soifon. I'll see you later." She quietly shut the door, her footfalls fading down the hall.

Replay.

_"That woman is making you rot."_

"Suzumebachi…" Soifon uttered, knees giving out, "Don't tell anyone you saw me like this again."

"I won't. I never do."

Soifon collapsed and cried, leaving Suzumebachi to wonder if any of them would ever be alright again.

Replay.

_"You only see things in black and white."_

Replay—


End file.
